Enummoc

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Offline (the 01/16/2015 at 3:19pm)

Enummoc

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1818
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Enummoc's page activity

Visits<b>axeldudez</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 9:35pm<b>PHATERTL</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 11:51pm

Enummoc's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Enummoc's badges

Enummoc's favorite FMLs

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

by khaelian / 11/11/2010 at 11:53am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

by canispankthat / 10/01/2010 at 7:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

by coyote / 09/02/2010 at 3:25am / Japan / Health

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

by AlexaSt2611 / 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm / Paraguay (Central) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

by Peekaman / 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

by Laura_2118 / 12/12/2009 at 2:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

by Paramedic / 11/17/2009 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Rochdale) / Work

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

by LoserOfTheYear / 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

by pistonsunshine / 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love