Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

EnterSandman

Search for a member

EnterSandman

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4513
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 109 posted

About EnterSandman : Just a dude that's had too many concussions and works 3rd shift so my brain has a rather strange thought process (when it has a thought process).

I love metal, so I give myself even more concussions head banging to the likes of Metallica, etc. I also do a bit of writing in my spare time since I take sleep aids that give me really weird dreams that could make awesome books (if I ever actually finish one and get it published, that is).

If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.

EnterSandman's page activity

Visits<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:17am<b>vaderismyfriend</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:32pm<b>BellaP13</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:19pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:56pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Starfoxx</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:35am<b>Franniee_</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:39am<b>eb9821</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:54am<b>janey000</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:21pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:38pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:03pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:22am<b>lalalexie88</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:41am<b>umakemesic</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm<b>chodenugget</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 12:01pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:28am<b>ged</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 7:46pm

EnterSandman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of EnterSandman's badges

EnterSandman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82527) - you deserved it (16343)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53300) - you deserved it (28064)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

#245096
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46798) - you deserved it (37638)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55492) - you deserved it (17744)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML

#30969
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39595) - you deserved it (1885)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by Johnny on the Spot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (3434)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (5854)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

#301
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51550) - you deserved it (4422)

On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML

#226
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54289) - you deserved it (5491)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:38am - love - by Rolax - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: