EnlightenedTeen

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EnlightenedTeen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 789
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EnlightenedTeen : well.....i dunno, i love to laugh and....theres more to me is all i can say

EnlightenedTeen's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:32pm<b>issoz</b> - the 07/20/2011 at 3:07pm

EnlightenedTeen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

EnlightenedTeen's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

by Adam / 05/24/2011 at 1:54am / Miscellaneous

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

by Badaboom / 05/23/2011 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

by Emma-Louise / 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm / Intimacy

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

by Username / 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

by Username / 05/17/2011 at 12:05am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

by bouda / 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm / France (Centre) / Animals

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

by Username / 05/15/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Intimacy

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

by crazycat / 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

by eenkoekje / 05/13/2011 at 3:20am / Kids