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EnlightenedTeen

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EnlightenedTeen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 378
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EnlightenedTeen : well.....i dunno, i love to laugh and....theres more to me is all i can say

EnlightenedTeen's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:32pm<b>issoz</b> - the 07/20/2011 at 3:07pm

EnlightenedTeen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

EnlightenedTeen's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (3604)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (4838)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

#16922992
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (4782)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59976) - you deserved it (12560)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

#16323667
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (4896)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:54am - misc - by Adam -

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

#16310118
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (5654)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Badaboom (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

#16268222
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55121) - you deserved it (12807)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Emma-Louise (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

#16255718
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35556) - you deserved it (7267)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44122) - you deserved it (7872)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61771) - you deserved it (9663)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35404) - you deserved it (6618) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

#16182732
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (16066)

On 05/15/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Username - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76728) - you deserved it (23549)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

#16157379
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28335) - you deserved it (5248)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm - animals - by crazycat - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (14537)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -



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