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EnjoiFallen

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EnjoiFallen

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  • Number of visits : 168
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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EnjoiFallen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44097) - you deserved it (12178)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47993) - you deserved it (17140)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48413) - you deserved it (4909)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47587) - you deserved it (13578)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61646) - you deserved it (13455)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43503) - you deserved it (7431)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60442) - you deserved it (9132)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15733) - you deserved it (31325)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48551) - you deserved it (5556)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55492) - you deserved it (8118)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29323) - you deserved it (3648)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43743) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21999) - you deserved it (18636)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (3058)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18514) - you deserved it (53530)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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