EmsyyyRose13

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Offline (the 12/17/2015 at 6:39pm)

EmsyyyRose13

18Fucked!

EmsyyyRose13EmsyyyRose13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1407
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About EmsyyyRose13 : Hello fellow FMLers!

I'm Emily.
-bisexual
-feminist
-Fall Out Boy
-English major
-University of New Mexico

EmsyyyRose13's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 10:15pm<b>swaddison</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:31pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:31pm<b>mcgurk</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:28am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:56pm<b>tj1540</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 3:47am<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 12:17am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:51pm<b>Blackbiker</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 11:29am<b>Psyches</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 5:05pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:30pm<b>kevinivek</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:30pm<b>chris_mates</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:56am<b>EvanF20</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:37am<b>jaysinlove</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 4:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:26am<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:13pm

Fucked!<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:57pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:56pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:58pm<b>MisterEx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:01am<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:27pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:22am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:45am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 10:56pm<b>colvindj</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:05am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:58pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 2:06am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:53am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:55am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:08am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:01am

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EmsyyyRose13's favorite FMLs

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2014 at 10:08am / United States / Transportation

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

by ihatespiders / 08/05/2014 at 8:31am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

by sexyhobbit / 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

by killmenow / 04/23/2014 at 10:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

by nicetomeetyou2 / 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm / Work

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

by yeshehaspornaddiction / 07/02/2013 at 12:37am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

by whorecrux / 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 10:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

by Auroraen / 06/27/2013 at 9:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.