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EmsyyyRose13

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EmsyyyRose13

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 594
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About EmsyyyRose13 : Hello fellow FMLers!

I'm Emily; a sophomore at the University of New Mexico majoring in English.

EmsyyyRose13's page activity

Visits<b>terryaly</b> - 18 hours ago<b>ihatedouchbags</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:19pm<b>TJJOE</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:26am<b>Traeeee</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 2:30am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:22am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:20pm<b>14huberzb</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:41am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:00pm<b>st3ph3ns</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:30am<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:44am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 3:27pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:45am<b>andyeatsworld</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Ben009</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:17pm<b>johnfolk</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:33am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:31am<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:24pm<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:04pm

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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EmsyyyRose13's favorite FMLs

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16880) - you deserved it (29995)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36022) - you deserved it (16332)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (6409)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34662) - you deserved it (12573)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48707) - you deserved it (6437)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (3083)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (17407)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52739) - you deserved it (5905)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98000) - you deserved it (11353)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50019) - you deserved it (12142)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44653) - you deserved it (8828)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53834) - you deserved it (3458)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47553) - you deserved it (9265)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (35788)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML



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