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  • Number of visits : 512
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Emmiii's page activity

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Emmiii's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38297) - you deserved it (4183)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34546) - you deserved it (16233)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45047) - you deserved it (4739)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35620) - you deserved it (8718)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (49)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39554) - you deserved it (2971)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (3540)

On 08/13/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ragingwaffles - United States (California)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (19426)

On 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by bademployee (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22330) - you deserved it (36514)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35068) - you deserved it (3322)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60784) - you deserved it (6708)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

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