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Emmiii

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Emmiii

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 640
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Emmiii's favorite FMLs

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15463) - you deserved it (1046)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32648) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML

#21306439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (1835)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:04pm - work - by caterinette - Portugal

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (4201)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (17138)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33018) - you deserved it (2791)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45087) - you deserved it (4740)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (8724)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (66)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (2972)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

#21236314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38132) - you deserved it (3542)

On 08/13/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ragingwaffles - United States (California)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

#21236078
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26747) - you deserved it (19430)

On 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by bademployee (man) - United States (Oregon)



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