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Emmaisobel

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Emmaisobel

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  • Number of visits : 473
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Emmaisobel's page activity

Visits<b>JacCat</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 4:47am

Emmaisobel's FML badges

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Emmaisobel's favorite FMLs

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (4010)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (3397)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (2955)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41828) - you deserved it (3781)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33950) - you deserved it (4880)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36684) - you deserved it (4634)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (3393)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (4063)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (3179)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (2306)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a pedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32275) - you deserved it (4770)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33324) - you deserved it (3645)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)



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