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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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EmmaMarieCullen

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EmmaMarieCullen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 468
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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EmmaMarieCullen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (7655)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (20231) - you deserved it (1279)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

#8969513 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (2186)

On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (15364) - you deserved it (14942)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

#8936856 (505)

I agree, your life sucks (7330) - you deserved it (21643)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

#8865322 (366)

I agree, your life sucks (20992) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

#8862366 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (3837) - you deserved it (23318)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by drunk (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML

#8846091 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (15522) - you deserved it (1159)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by murphx3x (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (6914)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (16738) - you deserved it (2648)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1768)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (11896) - you deserved it (7953)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I was worried I'd broken something and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the volume settings for an hour before calling my sister in to look at it. She looked at it for two seconds before unplugging my headphones. FML

#7612223 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (3112) - you deserved it (24111)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

#7264134 (369)

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (6759)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (11306) - you deserved it (3335)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)