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EmmaBooBear16's favorite FMLs
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Amber / 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
by blondie107 / 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML
by hamandegger / 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
by ChubbyButt / 01/16/2013 at 5:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by satega / 11/17/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy
by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
by iris / 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy