Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

EmilyShmemily496

Search for a member

EmilyShmemily496

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1847
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EmilyShmemily496 : Hey. I'm Emily. I'm really boring.
But since you took all of the effort to creep, I guess I'll tell you about myself.
I really like Blink-182, The Killers, and Rush
You're a creep
Art and band is my life
I play tennis and badminton
Blah blah blah
I love Jenna Marbles
I am single
And I rarely comment, so of you're reading this, feel special. Most people will never see this.
Oh and I change my bio often. If you're lucky enough to see it twice, you get a freakin cookie.
Email me!
emury496@yahoo.com
Then go to sirinz.org
Alright BYEE :)

EmilyShmemily496's page activity

Visits<b>baddayeveryday1</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:52am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:35pm<b>ihatemyschool</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:25pm<b>kaplozi</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 9:57am<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 1:16pm<b>RyoRyo</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 6:54pm<b>Starter</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 10:09am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/08/2011 at 2:24am<b>crystalnight</b> - the 12/07/2011 at 6:25pm<b>kiakia0131</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 10:41am<b>fizzpoplady</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 7:39am<b>Flamable</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 12:37am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/28/2011 at 11:40pm

EmilyShmemily496's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

EmilyShmemily496's favorite FMLs

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (9282)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (3048)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18768) - you deserved it (3998)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18768) - you deserved it (3998)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (3172)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (3172)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML

#17560241
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (5756)

On 08/23/2011 at 5:55pm - kids - by BerzerkelyBongBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9190) - you deserved it (45086)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (2812)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35433) - you deserved it (6948)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (65858)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (3416)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33090) - you deserved it (2856)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36934) - you deserved it (3465)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: