Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

EmilyShmemily496

Search for a member

EmilyShmemily496

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1418
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EmilyShmemily496 : Hey. I'm Emily. I'm really boring.
But since you took all of the effort to creep, I guess I'll tell you about myself.
I really like Blink-182, The Killers, and Rush
You're a creep
Art and band is my life
I play tennis and badminton
Blah blah blah
I love Jenna Marbles
I am single
And I rarely comment, so of you're reading this, feel special. Most people will never see this.
Oh and I change my bio often. If you're lucky enough to see it twice, you get a freakin cookie.
Email me!
emury496@yahoo.com
Then go to sirinz.org
Alright BYEE :)

EmilyShmemily496's page activity

Visits<b>baddayeveryday1</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:52am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:35pm<b>ihatemyschool</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:25pm<b>kaplozi</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 9:57am<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 1:16pm<b>RyoRyo</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 6:54pm<b>Starter</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 10:09am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/08/2011 at 2:24am<b>crystalnight</b> - the 12/07/2011 at 6:25pm<b>kiakia0131</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 10:41am<b>fizzpoplady</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 7:39am<b>Flamable</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 12:37am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/28/2011 at 11:40pm

EmilyShmemily496's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

EmilyShmemily496's favorite FMLs

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (30557)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13129) - you deserved it (41274)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13129) - you deserved it (41274)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (7712)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15740) - you deserved it (29069)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19876) - you deserved it (39127)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (4245)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37212) - you deserved it (4928) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

#18633962
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (21211)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (3306)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12971) - you deserved it (41183)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27910) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24087) - you deserved it (5017)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11881) - you deserved it (56219)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: