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EmilyShmemily496

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EmilyShmemily496
  • Town/Country : Illinois, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 April 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1190
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EmilyShmemily496 : Hey. I'm Emily. I'm really boring.
But since you took all of the effort to creep, I guess I'll tell you about myself.
I really like Blink-182, The Killers, and Rush
You're a creep
Art and band is my life
I play tennis and badminton
Blah blah blah
I love Jenna Marbles
I am single
And I rarely comment, so of you're reading this, feel special. Most people will never see this.
Oh and I change my bio often. If you're lucky enough to see it twice, you get a freakin cookie.
Email me!
emury496@yahoo.com
Then go to sirinz.org
Alright BYEE :)

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

EmilyShmemily496's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12024) - you deserved it (22137)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

#19782263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (2137)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38455) - you deserved it (3667)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (7774)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

#19739013
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (4314)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (2608)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26360) - you deserved it (2568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

#19700381
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19784) - you deserved it (3900)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm - misc - by blocked (man) - United States

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

#19689652
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (4806)

On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12994) - you deserved it (23310)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (3779) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -



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