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EmilyShmemily496

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EmilyShmemily496
  • Town/Country : Illinois, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 April 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1182
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EmilyShmemily496 : Hey. I'm Emily. I'm really boring.
But since you took all of the effort to creep, I guess I'll tell you about myself.
I really like Blink-182, The Killers, and Rush
You're a creep
Art and band is my life
I play tennis and badminton
Blah blah blah
I love Jenna Marbles
I am single
And I rarely comment, so of you're reading this, feel special. Most people will never see this.
Oh and I change my bio often. If you're lucky enough to see it twice, you get a freakin cookie.
Email me!
emury496@yahoo.com
Then go to sirinz.org
Alright BYEE :)

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EmilyShmemily496's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

EmilyShmemily496's favorite FMLs

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (1481)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

#19964470
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20731) - you deserved it (2375)

On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5952) - you deserved it (49269)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML

#19943603
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (2267)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (2626)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (2189)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30680) - you deserved it (3890)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17399) - you deserved it (1926)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (2887)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (5679)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

#19884306
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (3024)

On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8339) - you deserved it (24796) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (2047)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

#19812720
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7897) - you deserved it (35154)

On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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