About EmilieAutumn : I don't comment much on here. I usually just read stuff :)
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EmilieAutumn's favorite FMLs
Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML
by JFC! / 03/30/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
by Abby_gummibear / 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by lezbplove / 03/19/2011 at 1:26am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my boyfriend snuck into my house and hid in my closet. Knowing that I have a phobia of people jumping out of closets, he nonetheless thought it would be funny to see how I'd react. I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 3:56am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 10:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 11:27am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
by mentallyscarred / 01/31/2011 at 4:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/25/2011 at 4:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids
by skyhigh / 01/13/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Money