About EmilieAutumn : I don't comment much on here. I usually just read stuff :)
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EmilieAutumn's favorite FMLs
by Scott / 09/15/2011 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
by holler / 09/15/2011 at 12:22am / Japan (Tokyo) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
by jumpedjogger / 09/14/2011 at 4:34am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by notinterested / 09/13/2011 at 6:11am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML
by charliemann_ / 09/12/2011 at 10:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by COCKYmanUSC / 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by 5.9Cummins / 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by FullOfNick / 09/10/2011 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
by Mattador / 09/06/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by anonomys / 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
- Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She… Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote… Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so…