About EmilieAutumn : I don't comment much on here. I usually just read stuff :)
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EmilieAutumn's favorite FMLs
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
by what_the_hell / 06/20/2013 at 4:35am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Money
by ohmygod / 06/20/2013 at 1:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML
by aimee_alexis / 06/20/2013 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by fuckyouverymuch / 06/13/2013 at 6:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML
by Anon / 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML
by mysea8679 / 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
by MsGlaDos / 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML
by wellthanks / 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML
by haleyart / 06/10/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Work