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EmiliaMariaW

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 2:20pm) | Search for a member

EmiliaMariaW

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 155
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EmiliaMariaW : I want to bend on Benedict Cumberbatch's dick. That is all.

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EmiliaMariaW's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48785) - you deserved it (6379)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51023) - you deserved it (34310)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47794) - you deserved it (3916)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56526) - you deserved it (17959)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73231) - you deserved it (6152)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
117 comments

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49261) - you deserved it (11064)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46789) - you deserved it (9313)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65798) - you deserved it (12643)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML

#20589773
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54147) - you deserved it (4048)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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