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EmeraldMoonshine

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EmeraldMoonshine

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 381
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About EmeraldMoonshine : im 17. a senior in high school. im a dancer. message me if you wanna talk, im friendly (:
kik: ask for it (: instagram: esmeraldaluna22 you should go follow me (:

EmeraldMoonshine's page activity

Visits<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:41am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:35pm<b>icall</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:04am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:26am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:26pm<b>tfriend3</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:29pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:41am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:14am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:20pm<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:04am<b>volton22</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:40am<b>captaincarlz</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sweetestname</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:19pm<b>kinkysexter</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:49am<b>Da_Fresh_Prince</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:50am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:46am<b>shelby_marie_</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:22pm

EmeraldMoonshine's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of EmeraldMoonshine's badges

EmeraldMoonshine's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (5617)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (4352)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36918) - you deserved it (13083)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (12248)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42025) - you deserved it (6889)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

#21236595
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31932) - you deserved it (5658)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (21962)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

#21234535
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37493) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:11am - misc - by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43753) - you deserved it (5353)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (6030)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38892) - you deserved it (11647)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (35477)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35495) - you deserved it (5926)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26046) - you deserved it (37406)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41816) - you deserved it (3577)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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Wednesday 13 August 2014

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