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EmeraldMoonshine

Offline (the 01/05/2014 at 2:01am) | Search for a member

EmeraldMoonshine

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 328
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About EmeraldMoonshine : im 17. a senior in high school. im a dancer. message me if you wanna talk, im friendly (:
kik: ask for it (: instagram: esmeraldaluna22 you should go follow me (:

EmeraldMoonshine's page activity

Visits<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:26am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:26pm<b>tfriend3</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:29pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:41am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:14am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:20pm<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:04am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:53pm<b>volton22</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:40am<b>captaincarlz</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sweetestname</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:19pm<b>kinkysexter</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:49am<b>Da_Fresh_Prince</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:50am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:46am<b>shelby_marie_</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:22pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 3:46am<b>TicciTobyRodgers</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:37am

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EmeraldMoonshine's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27440) - you deserved it (2844)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

#21222298
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (6185)

On 07/27/2014 at 6:17pm - love - by notgoth (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39472) - you deserved it (20239)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33866) - you deserved it (11135)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52893) - you deserved it (6808)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41534) - you deserved it (4594)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (4755)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40742) - you deserved it (3692)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46109) - you deserved it (22753)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

#21173638
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41625) - you deserved it (5408)

On 06/13/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41677) - you deserved it (5300)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45439) - you deserved it (5441)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML



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