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EmeraldMoonshine

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

EmeraldMoonshine

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 896
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About EmeraldMoonshine : im 17. a senior in high school. im a dancer. message me if you wanna talk, im friendly (:
kik: ask for it (: instagram: esmeraldaluna22 you should go follow me (:

EmeraldMoonshine's page activity

Visits<b>tfriend3</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:58pm<b>david_4197</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:03pm<b>14huberzb</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 3:06am<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:20am<b>Colorcoded</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:31am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:11am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:01am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:47am<b>amyyzzxo</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:47pm<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:02pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:08pm<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:13pm<b>macalo_03</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:04pm<b>Rinat</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:48pm<b>mrsdirtylove</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Bi_ShrDiWun</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:02pm<b>MajesticTololosh</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:41pm<b>nreed32</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:31pm

Liked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:08am<b>MajesticTololosh</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:41am<b>sam2yankee</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:50pm

EmeraldMoonshine's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of EmeraldMoonshine's badges

EmeraldMoonshine's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

#21285558
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32648) - you deserved it (6615)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:25am - intimacy - by soisblueballsdickhead (woman) - United States

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35249) - you deserved it (3721)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47915) - you deserved it (3892)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (10260)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (10260)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (4757)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (3643)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (597) - you deserved it (4005)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36684) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35289) - you deserved it (2921)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36662) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36662) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37866) - you deserved it (3385)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)



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  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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