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EmeraldEyedGirl's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
EmeraldEyedGirl's favorite FMLs
Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 11:48am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 4:36am / United States / Health
Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML
by bonertoolong / 11/23/2011 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by poorchild / 11/23/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
by brokeandalone / 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by jazzybell / 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML
by I quit / 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by Hunterisawesome / 11/18/2011 at 2:24pm / Reserved / Transportation
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML
by TheFlickChick / 11/17/2011 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
by Damnit / 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML
by tnh / 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health-foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML
by healthfoodshmealthfood / 11/17/2011 at 9:34am / United States (New York) / Health
by leaf hater / 11/17/2011 at 7:43am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend dumped me. One reason was because he couldn't have "intellectual conversations"… Today, my best friend asked me to be his girlfriend. Out of pure shock i replied "is this a joke?"… Today, I realized the only reason I have a job is because I'm seeing my bosses daughter but she's a…