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EmeraldEyedGirl

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EmeraldEyedGirl

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1518
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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EmeraldEyedGirl's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of EmeraldEyedGirl's badges

EmeraldEyedGirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

#18329214
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm - work - by anon -

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

#18326133
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (18427)

On 11/23/2011 at 11:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29189) - you deserved it (4547)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

#18324094
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15367) - you deserved it (20452)

On 11/23/2011 at 3:19am - animals - by bonertoolong - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (2455)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (3468)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

#18301043
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (5969)

On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (2939)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I received a fine for leaving my car at the airport. Each day it's been there, they added an additional $50. My car was stolen two weeks ago. FML

#18281505
87 comments

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (11445)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

#18272596
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (6158)

On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

#18272424
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (1902)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tnh - United States

Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health-foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML

#18271623
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (3171)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:34am - health - by healthfoodshmealthfood - United States (New York)

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

#18271256
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:43am - misc - by leaf hater - United States



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