Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ElmoSP3

Offline (the 07/26/2015 at 4:42am) | Search for a member

ElmoSP3

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1233
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ElmoSP3 : I'm Dangerously Delicious

ElmoSP3's page activity

Visits<b>Cads1</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:42pm<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:43am

ElmoSP3's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ElmoSP3's badges

ElmoSP3's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (4599)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (4589)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (2381)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

#21439774
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (1823)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm - work - by don't get paid enough for this (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27636) - you deserved it (7324)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

#21439587
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (2896)

On 07/10/2015 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29806) - you deserved it (12293)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (3697)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27330) - you deserved it (2171)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer because he thought I was skipping school. I'm 24 and we graduated high school together. FML

#21377506
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (2495)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (76)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36574) - you deserved it (2373)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: