ElmoSP3

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/21/2016 at 5:18am)

ElmoSP3

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2304
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ElmoSP3 : I'm Dangerously Delicious

ElmoSP3's page activity

Visits<b>sinamonbun</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 11:24pm<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 10:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:46am<b>ilanie04</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 3:11am<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 12:48am<b>Acasy</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:35pm<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 11:32pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 3:12am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:59pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:47pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:26pm<b>earljonez</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:28pm<b>ThatHorse</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:07pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:31pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:42pm<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:43am

Fucked!<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:48am<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 5:32am

ElmoSP3's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of ElmoSP3's badges

ElmoSP3's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I received yet another letter from a relative bitching me out for not involving my parents in my wedding. The parents who showed no interest in our relationship and then yelled at my fiancé and me when we announced it to them, calling us stupid, naive, heathens, and mentally ill. FML

by TheyObjectToTheUnholyUnion / 01/29/2016 at 7:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

by anon / 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm / United States / Kids

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend emotionally proposed over dinner, and I said yes. Soon after he left, he tweeted "I just fucked up...." and a few minutes later called me and claimed the proposal was a prank. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 8:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

by weldingmachine217 / 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2015 at 6:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

by bianca131 / 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

by Quendolin / 11/09/2015 at 9:07am / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

by ishred1111 / 11/06/2015 at 2:39am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.