About Ellyo : Hey creeper! I'm Ellyo I like mustaches and any pickup line? Yup so message me if you want to know more and wellllll get off my page if you don't ❤
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (54860)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28482) - you deserved it (5513)
On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (7580)
On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21130) - you deserved it (16024)
On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6835) - you deserved it (64032)
On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -
Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (2833)
On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (6211)
On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22027) - you deserved it (4369)
On 12/10/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8910) - you deserved it (19373)
On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (12949)
On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47361) - you deserved it (6504)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (1788)
On 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by traumatized4life (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because "I shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14905) - you deserved it (1698)
On 10/18/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31749) - you deserved it (10673)
On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (2871)
On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Friday 24 May 2013
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