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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (5420)
On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29428) - you deserved it (2831)
On 02/18/2011 at 8:06am - work - by sickly -
Today, my math teacher brought his laptop to tally up all our scores for our report card. He then displayed the results on a big screen in front of the whole class. The ones who failed were marked yellow. I was the only one marked yellow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17154) - you deserved it (12357)
On 02/18/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by thestudent (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31967) - you deserved it (3237)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (3312)
On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (60909)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36646) - you deserved it (5905)
On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States
Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (1780)
On 09/26/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after 22 years of perfect skin, I woke up with a bunch of angry zits on my nose. I used a clay face mask that was supposed to dry them out. Instead, they were bigger and green. Today is Valentine's day, I finally have a guy to go out with, and my nose looks like it's rotting off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (3382)
On 02/14/2010 at 9:14am - love - by zitgirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60070) - you deserved it (5967)
On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60371) - you deserved it (1821)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46512) - you deserved it (9220)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (5025)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:14pm - health - by Sheezey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (76201) - you deserved it (3691)
On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (4723)
On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version
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