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Ellamore's favorite FMLs
Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML
by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work
Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML
by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
by me / 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by YayItsYasmine / 08/14/2013 at 12:48pm / Austria (Karnten) / Miscellaneous
by really? / 08/13/2013 at 2:58am / United States / Love
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
by idonteven / 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ew / 08/11/2013 at 9:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML
by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML
by Tea_baggins / 08/06/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML
by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…