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Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 4:50am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1931
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Eliseopwns : I'm a cyclist, swimmer, and huge geek... that's about it. I love video games, anime, and movies.

Steam, Xbox, and PS are all Eliseopwns, add me so we can get a gaming sesh going B)

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Eliseopwns's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42527) - you deserved it (9067)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (2933)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38361) - you deserved it (4197)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41840) - you deserved it (3251)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (2218)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (2909)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (3258)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25378) - you deserved it (4155)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (3183)

On 07/06/2012 at 12:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (7176)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:10am - misc - by stupidprankster - United States



I agree, your life sucks (41496) - you deserved it (33341)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31948) - you deserved it (4098)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my co-worker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager and accuses me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53018) - you deserved it (3782)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

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