Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eliseopwns

Online | Search for a member

Eliseopwns

0Liked!

Eliseopwns
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 935
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Eliseopwns : I'm a cyclist, swimmer, and huge geek... that's about it. I love video games, anime, and movies.

Ask me for my 3DS friend code, let's get that Smash going B)

Eliseopwns's page activity

Visits<b>summer135790</b> - 2 hours ago<b>jtrizzle93</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:44pm<b>SmithPaPa69</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 7:01am<b>bin_tou</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:47pm<b>SatanLover666</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 6:15pm<b>Ari3l</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:43pm<b>delfins7</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:39pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:06am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 6:52am<b>mind_geek</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 12:47pm<b>CammyGal</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:30pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Destroyer_2_2</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:39am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:51am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:09am

Eliseopwns's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Eliseopwns's badges

Eliseopwns's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54137) - you deserved it (6485)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34070) - you deserved it (4292)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38275) - you deserved it (3200)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39663) - you deserved it (23630)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47190) - you deserved it (6891)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46614) - you deserved it (3576)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18408) - you deserved it (67696)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58162) - you deserved it (4633)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51754) - you deserved it (3540)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39911) - you deserved it (8704)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (2650)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (3842)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38436) - you deserved it (2952)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29299) - you deserved it (2826)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23815) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: