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Elfses's favorite FMLs
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by kebaby / 06/19/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
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- Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys… Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around… Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the…
- Today, my boss called me in to work on my only day off in two weeks. After working more than a full… Today, after a month on a new job. My finances were finally looking up after being out of work for… Today, I discovered our dog anxiety-sharts in his sleep. I found this out after a couple nights of…