Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (55 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10868
  • Number of comments : 219
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>aron1991</b> - 16 hours ago<b>donttouchmee</b> - yesterday at 6:16pm<b>xSupah</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:38am<b>awesome64760</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm<b>vlader08</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:30pm<b>faithlove24</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:42pm<b>Fiestasaur</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:59pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:13pm<b>pwnapple99</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:43am<b>XTheDesertSongX</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:38am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:04am<b>slimblack</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:35pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:47pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:17pm<b>imagine98</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:23pm

Eivana's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41285) - you deserved it (12282)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25391) - you deserved it (8481)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52623) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (34431)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

#20489830
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (5398)

On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57462) - you deserved it (3479)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (4043)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (3592)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29120) - you deserved it (3002)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (8294)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (2928)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (1818)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28968) - you deserved it (3584)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (2827)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: