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Offline (the 10/22/2016 at 6:24am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 65901
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 8:57am<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Overdue</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 10:22pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 11:59pm<b>Hutchie931</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:52am<b>tim374</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 10:55pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:13pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:35am<b>symphonicmetal</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:49am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:16am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:15am<b>fariss</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:18pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:51am<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:10am<b>max367</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:15am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:29am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:04pm<b>thunderstoerms</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:32am

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 5:59am<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:55pm<b>PineappleTango12</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:10am<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm

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Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

by pitytitty / 01/09/2015 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

by exuberant_orange / 01/08/2015 at 10:56am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 11:29am / Sri Lanka / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

by MonsterProblems / 01/07/2015 at 2:07am / Croatia / Health

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

by innocent / 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

by shittysituation / 01/05/2015 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

by boss stabber / 01/04/2015 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Work

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

by kbug95 / 01/03/2015 at 3:20pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

by Sisterly Love / 01/02/2015 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

by Proposal Fail / 01/01/2015 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

by smooth / 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm / United States / Work