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Eivana

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 3:55am) | Search for a member

Eivana

44Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 58408
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>fufufe</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:18am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:45pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:54am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:07am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:43pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:11pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:35pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:19pm<b>Chief_leif</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:20am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:20am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:36pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:18pm<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:28pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:06am<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>jake131000</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:03am

Fucked!<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:55am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm

Eivana's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (3793)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32249) - you deserved it (2900)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

#21322081
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (3085)

On 12/22/2014 at 1:40pm - misc - by bxjxj - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (3721)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

#21319982
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36387) - you deserved it (4455)

On 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by I warned him - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34556) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (3301)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32350) - you deserved it (6328)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34465) - you deserved it (3268)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37856) - you deserved it (7421)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States



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