Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14105
  • Number of comments : 223
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:38pm<b>kewpiesuicide</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:16am<b>romanianliberty</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:24pm<b>iti</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:42pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:55pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:57pm<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:08am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:56am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:46am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:34am<b>Alexeon</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:29pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:50pm<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:48pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:24pm<b>namine120409</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:02am<b>emmsies</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:07pm<b>princessleia97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:08pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:38am

Eivana's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43772) - you deserved it (2597)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47375) - you deserved it (4106)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50670) - you deserved it (3299)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (6322)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39087) - you deserved it (11157)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54214) - you deserved it (3201)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45968) - you deserved it (12094)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39838) - you deserved it (4717)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (6806)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51129) - you deserved it (5310)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51669) - you deserved it (6429)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45027) - you deserved it (4110)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43868) - you deserved it (4001)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: