Eivana

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Offline (the 09/16/2016 at 2:35am)

Eivana

47Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 64946
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 8:57am<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Overdue</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 10:22pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 11:59pm<b>Hutchie931</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:52am<b>tim374</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 10:55pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:13pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:35am<b>symphonicmetal</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:49am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:16am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:15am<b>fariss</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:18pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:51am<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:10am<b>max367</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:15am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:29am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:04pm<b>thunderstoerms</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:32am

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 5:59am<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:55pm<b>PineappleTango12</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:10am<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm

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Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out there's a support page on Facebook for people who have been "hurt" by me. FML

by SupportPage / 03/31/2015 at 9:41am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

by bingalingading / 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2015 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Health

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

by BERNDTOAST / 03/27/2015 at 11:27am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

by xorenae / 03/27/2015 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

by Anasztaizia / 03/26/2015 at 2:58am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

by anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

by twelvie / 03/23/2015 at 10:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

by van no gough / 03/21/2015 at 8:07pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

by poop / 03/21/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

by ajodasdojsad / 03/21/2015 at 11:12am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous