Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Online | Search for a member

Eivana

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13009
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:38pm<b>kewpiesuicide</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:16am<b>romanianliberty</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:24pm<b>iti</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:42pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:55pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:57pm<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:08am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:56am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:46am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:34am<b>Alexeon</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:29pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:50pm<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:48pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:24pm<b>namine120409</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:02am<b>emmsies</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:07pm<b>princessleia97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:08pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:38am

Eivana's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52488) - you deserved it (7653)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56537) - you deserved it (5392)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86263) - you deserved it (6178)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37197) - you deserved it (10590)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47045) - you deserved it (3118)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (32343)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37749) - you deserved it (3796)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42901) - you deserved it (6484)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43800) - you deserved it (4826)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41149) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36383) - you deserved it (8128)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (11495)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38975) - you deserved it (2985)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40940) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: