Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

29Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 48968
  • Number of comments : 259
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 47 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

Hello, you can call me Kamon.
I love drawing, writing, languages and music.
I am 24.
I will randomly comment.
I can be morbid, but being morbid is always exciting.

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>jewstooge</b> - one hour ago<b>2ndSucks</b> - 3 hours ago<b>lunar999</b> - 4 hours ago<b>lindacollins423</b> - 10 hours ago<b>imafan123</b> - 12 hours ago<b>juanpegler</b> - 15 hours ago<b>christofferkamal</b> - 16 hours ago<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - 16 hours ago<b>sexymomo1234</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Ateeb</b> - 20 hours ago<b>spockadelic</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Matheo</b> - 23 hours ago<b>hayleymaybe</b> - yesterday at 1:06pm<b>hantu69</b> - yesterday at 12:55pm<b>Dave027</b> - yesterday at 12:54pm<b>imkool136</b> - yesterday at 12:45pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:51am<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:27am

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - 10 hours ago<b>python199</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:25am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:46pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:03am<b>keiNan</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:29am<b>Matheo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:37pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:31pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:55pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:37pm<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:26pm<b>pizza12</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:23pm<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:45am<b>tinkdatank</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:38pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:13am<b>Nadron</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 4:47am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:23pm

Eivana's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (4863)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (9492)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44484) - you deserved it (7534)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (3922)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (2745)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41044) - you deserved it (4498)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36730) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you deserved it (7709)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35947) - you deserved it (9560)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44742) - you deserved it (7037)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (323) - you deserved it (11272)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36990) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: