About Eff_Itt : seventeen ; female ; accident prone ; taken
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Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (1832)
On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (8305)
On 08/09/2011 at 8:55am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29842) - you deserved it (5020)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105034) - you deserved it (5803)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37818) - you deserved it (2535)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (3448) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (4137)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (11244)
On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (3254)
On 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm - animals - by tracie (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (7551)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41887) - you deserved it (3028)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27080) - you deserved it (4135)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19183) - you deserved it (2563)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97157) - you deserved it (23453)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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