About Eff_Itt : seventeen ; female ; accident prone ; taken
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14695) - you deserved it (26582)
On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15475) - you deserved it (4083)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (2940) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6118) - you deserved it (6551)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48295) - you deserved it (2257)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (1771)
On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (1288)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19535) - you deserved it (5802)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32793) - you deserved it (2284)
On 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by caitlinz5 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (17965)
On 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by MattBC97 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (4877)
On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)
Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (12368)
On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States
Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17544) - you deserved it (1248)
On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (2093)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24118) - you deserved it (4837)
On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
