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Eff_Itt

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Eff_Itt
  • Town/Country : Decatur, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 884
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Eff_Itt : I'm just a simple, accident-prone young adult with alot of interesting stories (:

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Eff_Itt's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15854) - you deserved it (10095)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5576) - you deserved it (16070)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (17615)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3666)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (2316)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17869) - you deserved it (37314)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19062) - you deserved it (5427)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35960) - you deserved it (3779) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7989) - you deserved it (45563)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55164) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (7433)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML



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