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EdwardAnnie

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EdwardAnnie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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EdwardAnnie's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

EdwardAnnie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36562) - you deserved it (3468)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML

#20037577
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16737) - you deserved it (31514)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Rotarius (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

#20033901
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29976) - you deserved it (2094)

On 08/21/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16889) - you deserved it (34822)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41921) - you deserved it (4808)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (16443)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28840) - you deserved it (6025)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59085) - you deserved it (10939)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (5370)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32416) - you deserved it (4782)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (40123)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18380) - you deserved it (36733)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

#19915209
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9661) - you deserved it (28816)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by yeastly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

#19890281
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16677) - you deserved it (30564)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (4930)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)



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