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Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30181) - you totally deserved it (4031)
On 08/08/2009 at 4:48am - misc - by rivercitybarf (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you totally deserved it (12889)
On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40851) - you totally deserved it (1555)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you totally deserved it (2114)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you totally deserved it (19696)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got on my flight for my brother's graduation in Portland, Maine. Unable to find my mom in the airport, a stranger overheard my dilemma and informed me I was in Portland, Oregon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17665) - you totally deserved it (14058)
On 06/16/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Rayyy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42240) - you totally deserved it (2070)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60775) - you totally deserved it (2872)
On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6486) - you totally deserved it (29789)
On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend who lives in China contacted me and told me she'd been sexually harassed by a guy and was thinking about pressing charges. The guy is someone I know from college - he promised me he would say "hi" to her for me while he was in Shanghai. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you totally deserved it (2854)
On 05/27/2009 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you totally deserved it (1834)
On 05/23/2009 at 4:20pm - work - by jend (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11860) - you totally deserved it (34893)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
I agree, your life sucks (44453) - you totally deserved it (1788)
On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was to late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you totally deserved it (1940)
On 05/19/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Sam (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44186) - you totally deserved it (2452)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by BassGuy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
