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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Fred / 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML
by Hm / 03/19/2015 at 8:54pm / United States (New Mexico) / Transportation
Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML
by DDRFreak / 03/19/2015 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML
by MyPoorEyes / 03/19/2015 at 9:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by copycat / 03/19/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/19/2015 at 1:01am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by brokeforever / 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm / Latvia (Riga) / Animals
Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML
by Stressed Mother / 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 11:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Feronia / 03/18/2015 at 9:16am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 5:44am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, during an exam, the guy next to me tried to cheat by looking at my test but was caught by the proctor. His defense was that no one would ever cheat off me. The proctor agreed and allowed him to finish the test. FML
by Speechless / 03/18/2015 at 4:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 3:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
by Iwtumn / 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm / Austria / Health