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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML
by WittyMoron / 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML
by nevergiveinever / 07/01/2015 at 9:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by ouch / 07/01/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by stink / 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by quiet_screaming_ / 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by bosslady / 06/30/2015 at 5:57am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Work
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
by Claudine / 06/30/2015 at 2:18am / Belgium (Liege) / Work
Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids
Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML
by Greattitan2 / 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
by stillhungry / 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (California) / Love
by isaidfuckoff / 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm / United States / Love
Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML
by anonynous / 06/27/2015 at 11:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML
by *cough* *cough* you're a dickface / 06/27/2015 at 1:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…