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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 5:29am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 2:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 1:42am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML
by hamiltonma / 07/04/2015 at 1:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2015 at 4:55am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
by alison / 07/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States / Intimacy
by okaydisarray / 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
by Rusty / 07/03/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances". FML
by NeedMoreFriends / 07/03/2015 at 6:30am / United Kingdom (Wakefield) / Miscellaneous
Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML
by Deaf / 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by PupZilla / 07/02/2015 at 10:08am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…