About Ebola : you don't want to know
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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML
by unsuccessful popping / 06/18/2015 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2015 at 12:56pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Miscellaneous
by hobbled / 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids
Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML
by Lesbihonest / 06/17/2015 at 9:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Iarla_ceapaire93 / 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by _kyleG_ / 06/16/2015 at 1:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for 4 or more hours. Not even 2 hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML
by use your brain mother / 06/16/2015 at 1:47am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2015 at 10:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML
by AndyClara / 06/14/2015 at 4:27pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML
by KingFML1 / 06/14/2015 at 1:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by lulumars / 06/14/2015 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2015 at 11:37am / Croatia (Grad Zagreb) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III / 06/14/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money