Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ebola

Online | Search for a member

Ebola

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12457
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Ebola : I never know what to write.

26 years old

Undergrad in biochem
Masters in biotechnology

I'm a research scientist

Ebola's page activity

Visits<b>201chasew</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:28am<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:17am<b>This_Chica</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:38am<b>garage</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:03am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:59pm<b>postpunkfunk</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:44pm<b>vmbrocca</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:40pm<b>TumblrAndStuff</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:08pm<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:47am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:13pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:11am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>maravenus</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:01pm<b>fadedddiamonds</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:57am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Marshgray</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:51pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:49am

Ebola's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Ebola's badges

Ebola's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53606) - you deserved it (6989)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52689) - you deserved it (5991)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (4784)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48523) - you deserved it (9543)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37590) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44038) - you deserved it (9459)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

#21053635
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (4179)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by fuckmyplums (man) - Austria (Salzburg)

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49701) - you deserved it (3680)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

#21053382
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40398) - you deserved it (3267)

On 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mayotte

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52335) - you deserved it (18532)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43731) - you deserved it (15661)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43336) - you deserved it (3805)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (7134)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: