About Ebola : you don't want to know
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML
by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 8:37am / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that the motorcycle I paid cash for was an illegal import. My plates are canceled, I have to turn in the bike for it to be destroyed, and the seller has vanished off the face of the planet. FML
by fmymouth / 08/20/2015 at 12:48am / United States (California) / Transportation
by ambiiii / 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 11:00am / South Africa / Kids
Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 8:14am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML
by julian1 / 08/19/2015 at 7:34am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 2:32am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 6:55pm / United States (Utah) / Love
by I hate games / 08/18/2015 at 4:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my dad called to wish me a happy birthday. I said thank you but informed him that my birthday is tomorrow. He told me that I was wrong and screamed at me for 20 minutes. When I still wouldn't agree with him, he hung up and turned my phone service off. FML
by InterestingMuch / 08/18/2015 at 10:48am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 9:26am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 8:34am / United States (Illinois) / Love