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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by MedHistory / 09/15/2015 at 4:40pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by ew / 09/15/2015 at 12:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by Anon E. Mouse / 09/15/2015 at 7:47am / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML
by zachjm98 / 09/15/2015 at 6:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by kunjac0945 / 09/14/2015 at 1:21am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I decided to to gather up the courage to ask the cute boy in my math class for his number. He gave it to me, and I texted him later that night. But little did I know he actually gave me the number of the creep in class who is always grabbing my ass. I ended up asking the creep out. FML
by thisiswhyimsingle / 09/14/2015 at 1:17am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
by anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 11:34am / Luxembourg / Work
by TheLoneSoul / 09/13/2015 at 10:22am / France / Love
Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML
by jobless / 09/13/2015 at 10:07am / United States / Work
Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Queen LaQueefah / 09/13/2015 at 7:52am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy
by Ugh / 09/13/2015 at 2:03am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
by auraya1985 / 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Angie / 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML
by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…