About Ebola : you don't want to know
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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Money
by FML / 09/04/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by ACCCHHHOOOO!!!!!!!!! -_- / 09/04/2015 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 10:54am / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML
by fuckyoudeadgunnuts / 09/04/2015 at 10:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting ready to go out with my family. As I was putting my phone in my purse, my father told me I wouldn't need it because we were going to spend 'quality time' together. The entire time I was there, everyone was staring at their phone. I was the only one without one. FML
by idk / 09/04/2015 at 10:15am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
by whoevenncares / 09/03/2015 at 9:06pm / United States / Kids
by bestgirlfriend / 09/03/2015 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees) / Love
by Why / 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump, she turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML
by freakingout / 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Health
Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML
by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:41am / Australia / Work
Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture…