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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy". I was too ashamed to say I'm not pregnant that I just took the seat. FML
by pinkpurplegurl / 09/24/2015 at 10:33am / China / Miscellaneous
Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML
by lovedoesnotexist / 09/24/2015 at 7:52am / Belgium / Love
by Anonymous / 09/23/2015 at 9:21pm / Canada / Money
by KindaLooksLikeCocaine / 09/23/2015 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by wandering_soul / 09/23/2015 at 2:44pm / United States / Work
by ImAnEngineer / 09/23/2015 at 1:09pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2015 at 11:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
by Colin Jr. / 09/23/2015 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came across the word "pegging". Not knowing what it meant, I googled it and got a very graphic explanation. Seconds later, I realised that the webpage URL actually included the sexual nature of the meaning. The IT department have logs of every page we visit. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2015 at 8:43am / Malta / Intimacy
by ryu1356 / 09/22/2015 at 9:24am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/22/2015 at 12:31am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I turned 25. I'm single, still living at home and doing an unpaid internship in an industry I have no interest in, because it was the only accepted application after 6 months of unemployment. The daily 45-minute drive means I'm losing money every week for being "employed" with a PhD. FML
by experience_to_get_experience / 09/21/2015 at 3:09pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Work
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML
by notanazigrandchildafterall / 09/21/2015 at 7:32am / Germany (Sachsen) / Miscellaneous