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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by erphy21 / 09/26/2015 at 4:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/26/2015 at 8:08am / United States / Love
Today, I resorted to buying some expensive flowers and sending them to my boss anonymously with a mysterious love letter, just to get her to lighten the hell up and stop constantly harassing and berating me over every little thing. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2015 at 2:40am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML
by halfie / 09/26/2015 at 1:06am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/25/2015 at 10:36pm / Australia / Love
Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML
by My Daughter Fails at Life / 09/25/2015 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet / 09/25/2015 at 9:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by itwaswarm / 09/25/2015 at 5:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke up to see her taking a dump into a plastic bag in our bedroom, all because my roommate was using the bathroom and she had to leave for work on time. FML
by WakeUpToADream / 09/25/2015 at 4:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Enanimus / 09/25/2015 at 2:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had to listen to my coworker complain about how working 19 hours a week leaves her with no time to go to the doctor and get her bronchitis treated. Meanwhile I work 40 hours a week, as well as doing 18 credit hours at school, and she refuses to cover her mouth. FML
by sobusy / 09/25/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML
by helpme / 09/25/2015 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML
by hunting7waves / 09/25/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by whatdidimarry / 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister and I checked into our cheap hotel in Brussels as part of our month-long Europe trip. At 11pm we awoke to the sound of a mouse chewing through a bag of food we'd bought. At 3am we awoke to bedbugs. We slept in the bathroom. FML
by BuggedinBelgium / 09/24/2015 at 4:15pm / Miscellaneous
- Today, recently my family has been keeping everything a mouse can get into out of their reach so as… Today I was texting my very horny boyfriend as I was getting ready for school. We had been talking… Today, my large dog sprinted outside to see my step dad because he thought he was going on a walk.…