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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by apaterra / 11/04/2015 at 12:30pm / United States / Work
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by 123literateABC / 11/03/2015 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by smh / 11/03/2015 at 3:04pm / United States (North Dakota) / Love
Today, my boyfriend declared he doesn't feel ready to move in with me for at least "some more years". We have already been together for five years. When he bought an apartment one year ago, he kept it a secret for three months. Maybe I should learn to take a hint. Or several hints. FML
by Unwanted / 11/03/2015 at 2:10pm / Austria / Love
Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2015 at 12:54pm / United States / Work
Today, my dad got dressed up in formal clothes, and I asked what the occasion was. He said he had a hot date, which would've been fine if he hadn't told me what was "on the menu", namely "wining, dining, sixty-nining". Thanks for that image. FML
by ew / 11/03/2015 at 10:43am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by LadyLou / 11/03/2015 at 6:42am / Australia / Work
by Quicky5_ / 11/03/2015 at 1:58am / United States (Alabama) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by MG73 / 11/01/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by anonymous / 11/01/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML
by sabotaged / 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…