About Ebola : you don't want to know
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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by SayItToMyFace / 11/11/2015 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom / Love
by burnbabyburn / 11/11/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom / Work
by anon / 11/10/2015 at 10:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML
by misfitunfit / 11/10/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I overheard my parents talking about my husband. Apparently, they think he's a nice guy and all, but they don't really see him as "husband material." They think I would have been better off with my ex, who doesn't have a job and hurt me both physically and mentally. FML
by thanksforallyoursupportmomanddad / 11/10/2015 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
by Foxy0706 / 11/10/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, at a school function for my eldest son, my youngest child silently passed gas. A group of women I had hoped to befriend were sitting next to me, and then left with looks of disgust on their faces. I guess I don't need friends. FML
by Denise1988 / 11/10/2015 at 12:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
by CoffeeStained / 11/10/2015 at 10:54am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my immediate supervisor had modified my phone in the priority order at our call center. As a result, any calls that came in during the night shift would be routed to my phone first, so that he can play games on his phone uninterrupted. It's been a whole year. FML
by YouBossturd / 11/10/2015 at 10:17am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about the difference between the U.S. and Canada when she asked me if they have their own government. She wasn't sure if they were governed by the U.S. or if they didn't have a government at all. She's a 33-year-old college graduate. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 1:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML
by bianca131 / 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm / Australia / Intimacy
by Kidsthesedays / 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
Today, I finally got a good seat on a plane. I don't know what the man next to me had eaten, but I was trapped for two hours next to him as he let out silent, deadly egg farts the entire trip. There was nowhere to escape. FML
by AwkwardFireFly / 11/08/2015 at 11:31pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 2:12am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy