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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by MG73 / 11/01/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by anonymous / 11/01/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML
by sabotaged / 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Work
by 2pale / 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight to leave for Hawaii when I received an urgent call from my neighbour saying that my house had been broken into. After rushing home and missing my flight, I had to explain to the police that my house wasn't burgled, it was just very messy. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2015 at 12:41pm / United Kingdom (Sunderland) / Miscellaneous
by fuck off you fucking shitburglar / 10/31/2015 at 6:20am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/31/2015 at 3:19am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I made a Facebook post about my upcoming driving test. My grandpa said he knew I would succeed, prompting my idiot boyfriend to reply "For sure, she really knows how to suck seed ;)" followed by him liking his own comment. FML
by not anymore / 10/30/2015 at 7:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my brother got his very first paycheck and blew it all on weed and a godawful tattoo, whereas I have been saving steadily for three years. Yet according to mum and dad, I'm the one who is irresponsible with money, because if I was being responsible I'd have enough for my own house by now. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2015 at 4:53pm / United States / Money
Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML
by sparky83000 / 10/29/2015 at 4:51pm / Canada / Work
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids
by feeling single / 10/28/2015 at 3:48pm / United States (California) / Love
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…