About Ebola : you don't want to know
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I grazed my hand over the bottom of my desk's keyboard tray, and found something sticky. I gagged when I realized it was jizz, and I immediately washed my hands and wiped everything. I then checked my browser history, which was full of porn. Thanks, roomie. FML
by katluvnc / 12/03/2015 at 9:02am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2015 at 4:47am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML
by shotdown / 12/02/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (California) / Love
by ujellybro234 / 12/01/2015 at 11:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, HR sent a review email to me asking me to anonymously tell them about my boss. I decided to use this opportunity to tell them what a dick he was. I printed off the review, filled it out, then scanned and emailed it to myself. Or so I thought. Turns out I'd sent the review to my boss. FML
by jobless / 11/30/2015 at 11:01pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2015 at 11:34am / United States (New York) / Love
by cole66 / 11/29/2015 at 1:43pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/29/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
by AlwaysTired / 11/27/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2015 at 7:50am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML
by fabz / 11/27/2015 at 7:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work
Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter games. He suddenly asked me what "K.O." meant. I told him it meant "Knocked Out," but he started getting mad at me because "'knocked' isn't spelled with a 'k'". He's 17. FML
by askprussia / 11/26/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by qwertycode / 11/26/2015 at 1:57pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, a great job I have been wanting to apply for opened for applications. Turns out it requires a clean background with no credit issues. I recently got a notice saying my wife and I are being sued over an unpaid $140 medical bill that she neglected to pay. FML
by Adios Career / 11/26/2015 at 11:27am / United States / Money