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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML
by Koizumiii / 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/14/2015 at 11:44pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymousse / 11/13/2015 at 7:34am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
by anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm / Netherlands / Health
Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML
by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
by Porche / 11/12/2015 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by notyourmummy / 11/12/2015 at 4:09am / United Kingdom (Isle of Wight) / Intimacy
by Its_Sinon / 11/12/2015 at 3:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SayItToMyFace / 11/11/2015 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom / Love
by burnbabyburn / 11/11/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom / Work
by anon / 11/10/2015 at 10:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML
by misfitunfit / 11/10/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I overheard my parents talking about my husband. Apparently, they think he's a nice guy and all, but they don't really see him as "husband material." They think I would have been better off with my ex, who doesn't have a job and hurt me both physically and mentally. FML
by thanksforallyoursupportmomanddad / 11/10/2015 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
by Foxy0706 / 11/10/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love