About Ebola : you don't want to know
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
by crinitis / 01/28/2016 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML
by 404: Sanity Not Found / 01/27/2016 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
by oliver / 01/27/2016 at 7:02am / United States / Health
by NotYourToy / 01/27/2016 at 2:59am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, to avoid disappointing my excited great grandmother, I still attended a small family dinner to celebrate my engagement. My fiancé and I split last night, I haven't slept and had to tell her he was caught up at work. FML
by singlelady / 01/26/2016 at 5:24pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work
by jimmy_morton / 01/26/2016 at 1:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by justsomesummer / 01/26/2016 at 1:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anon / 01/26/2016 at 6:40am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Work
by VisceralWolf / 01/26/2016 at 1:35am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML
by fuckoffgramps / 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/24/2016 at 10:54am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2016 at 10:27am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
- Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have… Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach… Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and…