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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML
by anon / 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm / United States / Work
Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Torfaen) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by onlyjuggalos / 01/31/2016 at 3:13am / United States / Work
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/30/2016 at 10:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/30/2016 at 4:54pm / Miscellaneous
by gingerlover01 / 01/30/2016 at 10:57am / United States / Health
by :/ / 01/30/2016 at 2:45am / United States (Arizona) / Money
Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2016 at 12:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got let go from my job, because my personal cell phone doesn't always have signal, so I missed an important call from work. My contract specifically said I'd get a work phone, which never happened. FML
by Anonymous / 01/29/2016 at 10:54am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/28/2016 at 11:26am / United Kingdom / Health
by crinitis / 01/28/2016 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML
by 404: Sanity Not Found / 01/27/2016 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous