About Ebola : you don't want to know
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
by UUUGHHH / 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML
by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by concernedsis / 02/04/2016 at 9:53am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Lord_Nick / 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Spooderman / 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm / United States / Kids
Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML
by Upset / 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Work
by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML
by Ishikur / 02/03/2016 at 8:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML
by oh, shit...... / 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML
by anon / 02/01/2016 at 11:37am / United States / Love
by notsoproudfather / 02/01/2016 at 10:54am / India (Maharashtra) / Kids