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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Mellamononeyobiz / 01/12/2016 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by TabbyCat87 / 01/12/2016 at 7:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by familypet / 01/08/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by potatoking24 / 01/07/2016 at 10:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
by Sleep_lover654 / 01/07/2016 at 1:46am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML
by sammylynnp / 01/07/2016 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/06/2016 at 10:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2016 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML
by bushy brows / 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 6:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML
by itchyyet / 01/03/2016 at 12:52am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy