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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 10:10am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
by RyoKioKio / 10/24/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Alexismaria / 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by BadLuckLad / 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Intimacy
Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML
by Not so much of a teachers pet / 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 11:06am / Mexico (Nuevo Leon) / Love
Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML
by MouserMan / 10/22/2014 at 10:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by bye loser / 10/20/2014 at 5:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Bad Dad / 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids
- Today, my friend was killed in a motorcycle accident, my boyfriend broke his foot, and I flunked a… Today, at work a cute fill in employee struck up a conversation with me. We seemingly hit it off so… Today, the girl of my dreams told me she loved me, and I had to tell her that I wanted to spend the…